


Hit Back and Hit Back Hard

by hazyjayne



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-07
Updated: 2011-03-07
Packaged: 2017-10-16 04:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazyjayne/pseuds/hazyjayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS:  2x15.  What happened in the council meeting before That Clip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit Back and Hit Back Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Oh goodness. I typed most of this up on my iPhone en route home while on the bus and I managed to miss my stop. This is probably going to be horribly jossed tomorrow, but what the heck, I couldn’t resist.

Wes thwackes the gavel against the desk. Pavarotti gently chirpes in his cage.

"Order gentlemen, order. Junior council member Mr. Blaine Anderson would like to speak."

"Thank-you, Wes. Council members, gentlemen, if I may submit a suggestion to the council. It has come to my attention that New Directions have a new substitute teacher, and she has persuaded their director that they should perform a "sexy" number at Regionals to try and win favour with the judges. I propose we hit back and hit them hard by performing our very own sexy number."

Wes interjects "I hate to be sceptical Blaine, but last time you made a suggestion you had us singing about sex toys in a mass produced clothing store. Why would we want to open ourselves up to further ridicule?"

"This time it is different" Blaine quickly replies, eager to get his point across. "Kurt and I received.” He pauses “some intelligence when we were collecting our morning medium drips from the Lima Bean."

"Where did this intelligence come from, may I ask?"

"Sue Sylvester"

"You know Mr. Anderson," David speaks in a measured tone. "Sue Sylvester is now coach to Aural Intensity. Why would she be giving you this information? How do you know this is not just a set up?"

Kurt raises his hand.

"Mr Hummel?"

"It's true. I checked in with Rachel this morning after we ran into Sue; when I asked her about it she shouted "SPIES" very loudly down the phone at me. It may take a little while for my hearing to recover from the experience of hearing that shriek." Kurt sighs.

"Well, if indeed it is true..." Wes still sounds sceptical. "What do you propose we do about it?”

Blaine coughs. "Well to my mind gentlemen there are three key elements we need to pull off in order to make this number sexy."

David looks curious "How will we know if we succeed?"

"I though we could invite some of the charming young ladies from Crawford"

Mummers of assent come from across the room.

Wes raises an eyebrow. "Go ahead and describe your plan of action, but be aware your treading a fine line here Mr. Anderson."

"Firstly there are the costumes. We have an inherent advantage. I am led to understand from the fairer sex that a man in uniform is irresistible."

Kurt raises he hand in the air.

"Mr. Hummel"

"If I may, I believe Blaine is on the right track here, however at New Directions we performed a number in water and it was most uncomfortable and it took weeks for my skin to recover from the pruning. Maybe we should something like foam instead?"

Blaine puts on his winning smile. "I like your thinking, Kurt."

Kurt blushes.

Thad interjects “Won’t that ruin our uniforms?”

“I know a very good and very reasonable dry cleaner.” Kurt replies confidently.

Blaine coughs "My final point is duets are far more sexy than solos. In many numbers there is the whole "will they/won't they" aspect of unresolved sexual tension which the audience finds engrossing. We should auction for two parts not just one for this number."

Kurt takes a deep breath and laughs nervously, inserting a finger into his collar to pull it away from his now very warm throat. Blaine flashes him a look, his pupils slightly blown, his tongue licking his bottom lip.

Wes sighs. He has a feeling this is one battle he is going to loose. "And the number you think we should perform, since you seem to have a plan for everything else about this performance?"

Blaine smiles that winning smile again.

"I think I know just the number."


End file.
